Last night five women friends and I went out to dinner to celebrate our July birthdays. We do this every year, but this year was somewhat more special because two of us entered our seventies this month. We are the youngest members of the group.
I threw out the question: what is important to you as you get older?
This was after a discussion of recent illnesses in the group and among our other friends who are over seventy but don't have the advantage of a July birthday and so weren't present.
The variety of answers to my question was interesting. They ranged from making a concrete contribution to the world through joining boards of civic and philanthropic organizations after retirement to exploring aspects of oneself that were closed off earlier in life--such as taking piano lessons or painting. Some of my friends like to help people older than us; others like to spend time with children, volunteering in reading programs, for example. Some enjoy mentoring younger members of their former professions. Some find stimulation in book clubs. All enjoy being with friends close to our own age and identified this as a key factor in their sense of well-being.
Some members of the group still work full or part time; others have retired from paid work. Some have changed careers several times in their lives; others remained dedicated to one.
All of us are actively engaged with life. In fact, the common thread in the conversation was the importance of having and keeping a sense of purpose, however that gets expressed.
For some, what gives purpose and meaning has not changed over time; for others, the desire to find something new is paramount.
I found the discussion exciting, because turning seventy hasn't been as easy for me as I expected. The month before this, I suddenly began to look ahead with foreshortened vision--recognizing how little time is left. Taking care of incapacitated relatives who are older than us by only fifteen years has occupied me and my husband for the past few months. Making hard decisions about their care has been very stressful; following up to be sure their care is good even more so. We are not so far behind them, because fifteen years will go by in the blink of an eye if I'm not mindful enough to spend the time left wisely. That is a sobering thought.
So it is comforting to turn to friends and listen to how they are facing the future, the choices they are making, the questions they are grappling with. I don't know how they felt about our conversation, but I came away with renewed determination to live wisely and well and to continue exploring what I can do creatively to age in a positive way.
Comments